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So I feel like we have to wait yet another year just for the daunting part of it to start. The important thing is doing it together. It's not that she doesn't believe you right now, but it is a bone she will never drop. I believe that marriage and kids is not something that can't be handled, I'm sure that once kids arrive somehow both parents will do whatever it takes to be there for the kids, however I'm also sure that you will be the one most likely to carry the weight a bit more and of course feel it too. I love my husband with my whole soul. First and most importantly, I see major trust issues in your future if you both think the other is brainwashed. I'm quite willing to take you at your word, but my guess is that academia had nothing to do with your ex being immature. He then proceeded to beat the shit out of her for a decade. You will raise the kids by yourself, and he won't help even when he's home because he'll be too tired or feel too entitled to HIS time alone.